I Did It All For You
by CookiesForMe
Summary: Fic about one way Lisbon could get her feelings across to an oblivious Jane. First part of two up now. Mainly Lisbon's method and the initial reactions to it. Rated T for language and themes in the second part that will be up soon, and is better than it souns, i promise. Please R&R x COMPLETE X
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N): Hey, I has yet another new fic for you all. This will only be a two chapter thing, as I refuse to let my imagination get away from me yet again. This is the first part, so please let me know if you liked it or not so I know if it is worth while putting the second part up sometime next week at the latest. The lyrics featured in this are all my own, so they don't break or bend any copyright or infringement laws or anything, as well as being not the best lyrics in the world as well. They are only there to serve a purpose. Well, enough of my ramblings, please read on…**

**I do not own the mentalist.**

**I did it all for you.**

It had been months since the monster more commonly known as Red John had been killed at the hands of the SWOT team. Jane had stuck with the team, claiming he had nowhere else to go. Lisbon had hoped he would eventually find peace, whether it was with her or not. She loved him, and had accepted that fact a long time ago. And because she loved him, she would let him go if that was what he wanted.

Exactly a month after the death of Red John, Jane had begun dating again. Danielle was a lovely person, Lisbon had to admit. She was tall and slender with long blonde hair she did up in intricate styles that looked like she spent far too long in the morning doing, as well as her makeup, of which she wore quite a bit. Lisbon didn't mind the woman herself, but hated the way seeing Jane with Danielle made her feel inside. However, she had been prepared for this feeling, and bottled her true emotions up like a pro. Only Grace knew her true feelings and she was smart enough to keep her mouth shut about them, for which Teresa was grateful.

One night, the team, including Jane and Danielle, were all out at a bar when the man on stage said it was now an open mic for the next hour or so. Grace stared pointedly at Lisbon, who did her best to ignore it.

"Go on boss," Grace said suddenly, interrupting whatever conversation the others were having. Everyone looked curiously in Lisbon's direction and Lisbon blushed in embarrassment immediately, shaking her head.

"No Grace. You know I can't."

Grace shook her head determinedly and got up to speak to the man who had been running the shows up on the stage. The whole team and Danielle saw Grace speak urgently to the man and the man nodded, looking very confused, though he followed Grace back to the table anyway.

"Sorry about this, miss," He muttered and before Lisbon could say or do anything, the man had picked her up easily and carried her over to the stage with Grace following, this time looking smug. The man sat Lisbon down gently on a stool in front of the mic and Grace fetched an acoustic guitar for her. Lisbon shot Grace a glare that clearly said the younger agent was going to pay dearly for this stunt later before she looked down at the guitar in her hands. She tuned it easily and quickly and cleared her throat as she began a song.

"_I held your hand when you needed_

_I let you be when you needed_

_I lied for you when you needed_

_I did it all for you_

_I gave you hope when you needed_

_I chased away nightmares when you needed_

_I gave you space when you needed_

_I did it all for you"_

She blinked furiously against the tears in her eyes threatening to overflow and continued her song, not daring to look up at anyone, keeping her attention on the instrument in her hands and the sounds it was producing.

"_I let you go though I didn't want to_

_I would do anything for you_

_You never see me anymore but I don't care_

_You're happy now so I stay in the background and stare_

_I let you go when you wanted_

_I gave you comfort when you wanted_

_I saved you when you wanted_

_I did it all for you_

_I let you go though I didn't want to_

_I would do anything for you_

_You never see me anymore but I don't care_

_You're happy now so I stay in the background and stare."_

Grace smiled as she heard her boss sing and playing the guitar before them all. She had first walked in on her playing by accident. She had thought everyone in the CBI building had gone home but she had to go back as she had forgotten her jacket she had left there by accident earlier that evening. She had walked into the building and up to the correct floor when she heard what sounded like someone playing the guitar pretty well. She had followed the beautiful sounds until she had found herself in front of one of the rarely used interrogation rooms. She then heard someone begin to sing as well, so she slipped into the observation room to see who it was. Shocked was a massive understatement when she saw it was her boss perched on the cold metal table with a beautiful guitar in her hands and a notebook and pen to the side of her. She had watched in amazement as Lisbon sang a few more words before stopping and adding a few more scribbles to her notebook. Grace had then walked into the interrogation room, scaring Teresa, who had thought everybody else had gone home hours before. She was really embarrassed but after some reassuring from Grace, had ended up confessing her deep feelings for a certain blonde pain in the ass she dealt with on a daily basis. Grace smiled up at Lisbon as she continued bravely with the last part of her song.

"_All I ever wanted was for you to be happy_

_If she does that then I won't get in your way_

_You deserve a good life without regrets_

_There is just one more thing I have to say_

_I love you, yet you don't see it_

_I don't mind, I've learnt to live with it_

_I just wish I didn't have to sing this song_

_That you would see the truth I've been hiding all along…"_

Teresa got up to a standing ovation of applause from the audience as she hurried off stage, bright red in the face with embarrassment. She had just sung the song she had written in front of the person it had been about. She spared a quick glance to Grace, who was the only one to hear that particular song before tonight's performance. She smiled gently to her boss and wrapped her in a careful hug, which Teresa gladly returned. Cho nodded to her, a small yet genuine smile lighting his face. Rigsby looked uncomfortable, but gave his boss a bear hug anyway, lifting the petite woman off the floor with the force of his embrace, causing Lisbon to start laughing, though she was still embarrassed.

Jane had sat in a stunned silence since the man had picked Lisbon up and placed her on the stage. He had been even more surprised to learn that Grace knew what instrument Lisbon played, though he had been trying to discover that piece of information for years. Then she ahd started to play and sing beautifully yet also gently, and all he could do was sit and listen as the weight of her lyrics fell onto him, each word imprinting into his brain. He had completely taken for granted the sheer magnitude of all that Teresa Lisbon had done for him over the years, not thinking for one moment she would feel as though she had done pretty much everything for him for years. He knew Danielle had sat there, utterly bored with his superior's performance, and knew he should take her home before he spoke to Lisbon at all. So he rose from his place without looking at Lisbon at all, placing his hand on Danielle's shoulder and together they walked out arm in arm. He didn't look back, didn't see Lisbon watch him go with tears in her eyes, didn't see her run from the room trying to hide her tears, didn't see her sat on the back steps of the building, shaking violently with the force of her sobs as she tried to gain control over her emotions and failing miserably.

…

Grace sat silently beside Lisbon as she cried, placing a hand on her boss' shoulder in a display of comfort. Teresa laid her head on the younger agent's shoulder as her tears subsided.

"Why do I never pick the easy guys?"

"The heart wants what the heart wants," Grace pointed out. "Let's get you home boss."

"Okay… And, Grace? Thank you."

"No problem boss. You'd do the same for me."

…

Lisbon sat in her dark living room curled up on the couch. Her tears had dried up a while ago but now she felt empty inside, like there was nothing left of her whatsoever. Grace had kindly driven her home and left her alone when Lisbon had promised to be in work the next day. Grace was worried about her, but Lisbon had managed to convince her that she wouldn't do something stupid in the next seven hours before she was next at work.

She wasn't even attempting to do anything. She didn't attempt to establish some kind of normality in her hectic evening. All she could keep doing was going over and over the same scene in her head countless times. Watching helplessly as Patrick Jane walked out with his flashy girlfriend on his arm, not once looking back at his dark haired superior who ahd just bared her heart to him and the world. He had just walked off, shattering her already fragile heart into a million more pieces.

…

Grace dialled a number and waited for the other person to pick up.

"_Hello? Grace?"_

"I need to speak to you now. Alone."

"_Um, okay Grace. How about meeting at a park bench in five minutes?"_

"I'll be there."

Grace hung up, her face completely serious as she pulled on her jacket and set off for the park.

…

Patrick Jane sat on a park bench as he waited impatiently for Grace to show up. Grace had sounded so serious over the phone that Patrick knew he had to meet her or suffer dire consequences.

Grace hurried up to the bench and sat beside him, pulling her jacket tight around her cold body. Jane watched her intently, but could gain no insight into her thoughts or emotions in that particular moment. Grace began the conversation, her voice cold and hard.

"How could you not see it? Everyone else did."

"See what, my dear Grace?" Jane asked, playing innocent although he knew very well what Grace was talking about. Grace slapped her hand down on the arm of the bench angrily.

"Don't play innocent with me Jane! You've hurt her so badly, yet you don't see it. You just swan around with your Barbie doll on your arm and you never saw the way Lisbon bended over backwards constantly to meet your every whim and wish. Why would she do that if she didn't love you? Why don't you see it?" She stared intently at him for a moment before she saw the truth in his eyes that he was desperately trying to hide from her probing gaze. "You do see it; you just chose to pretend you don't. You're a horrible person." She stood up abruptly and began to walk off before thinking of something and walking back to him.

"You need to see her, I mean see her properly. And you need to choose. Your lovely blonde Barbie, or the woman who has loved you constantly and infallibly for years."

"Why are you making me choose?" Jane whispered.

"Because Lisbon never would," Grace hissed at him before walking off, leaving Jane to his thoughts.

…

Lisbon was in her office for seven the next morning. She had bought herself a strong coffee, but didn't feel like eating anything that day. She felt ill and empty, and knew she probably looked like hell today. But she had made a promise to Grace, and she intended to keep it. She watched through her open blinds as Grace walked in, automatically checking to see if her boss was in. Lisbon raised her hand in a feeble attempt at a wave and Grace smiled at her. Lisbon then went straight back to her paper work.

Patrick Jane came bounding into her office without knocking, like he always did. Lisbon didn't even bother looking up. He took in her limp hair hanging in loose waves around her pale face and the dark bags under eyes and felt bad immediately. He didn't really know what he was feeling at that moment but he knew he needed to cheer her up at once.

"Hey," He said softly. Lisbon ignored him. He went to touch her hand to make her look at him but she flinched away from him before he could touch her at all. He frowned. She really wasn't herself today, he realised. Lyrics from the night before washed over him as he stood watching Lisbon closely.

_All I ever wanted was for you to be happy_

_If she does that then I won't get in your way_

_You deserve a good life without regrets_

_There is just one more thing I have to say_

_I love you, yet you don't see it_

_I don't mind, I've learnt to live with it_

_I just wish I didn't have to sing this song_

_That you would see the truth I've been hiding all along…_

His eyes widened as he finally understood the complete meaning behind her words. He had immediately knew she loved him when she sang those words to him, but what he hadn't realised was that she knew her feelings weren't reciprocated and was okay with that. All she had wanted was recognition that she had been there for him the whole time. And he had never seen it. He had been blind.

He turned abruptly on his heel and walked out, leaving a still hurting and utterly confused Lisbon to stare after him. Lisbon watched his retreating form with longing in her eyes and sighed before turning back to her work. She was used to Patrick Jane's unusual moments by now.

**TBC…?**


	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N): Hey, I'm sorry for all your impatience for the second part of this so I decided to post it as soon as I had it finished, though I admit it wasn't very quickly as I wanted to live up to expectations. Rated T for language as I drop the f bomb as well as a few other words that are questionable in my use of them, but I am a teenager myself so it's obvious if I can use it then they can't be that bad, or that there aren't that many of them to gain a higher rating. Please let me know what you think. The ending is a bit abrupt, I admit, but I still think it's sweet and is right to be ending there in happiness. Sigh, I am such a Jisbon shipper.**

**Also, I had to make Lisbon really angry at him, as otherwise there was no way I could get her to swear at him, and he needed a bit of coarse language to get him to actually see things as they actually were for a change, haha. But we also see her mother bear protective side of those she cares about, so… Well, here it is…**

**I do not own the mentalist.**

**I did it all for you pt 2**

Jane paced his dusty and damp attic impatiently as his mind raced through everything he either knew, or thought he knew for pretty much all of his life. He didn't know why he was going through all of his life at warp speed but he was and couldn't seem to stop it either. Finally, he snagged his car keys from the top of one of the discarded boxes that had been left in the room years ago and ran down to his car, trying not to get even a glimpse of any of the team at all. They had all worked out what Lisbon was trying to say and now hated him for just walking off and leaving her alone there. Cho was giving him the cold shoulder, Rigsby would stand in front of Lisbon's office like a bulldog guarding its master, and Grace would swap between concerned looks for Lisbon and anything she did and glares for him and anything he even attempted to do.

He drove on autopilot, without really thinking about where he was going. He didn't even know where he wanted to go. His thoughts were too busy elsewhere. Eventually he ended up outside the cemetery without any recollection of how he got there without causing any accidents or collisions. Oh well, he thought, maybe they will know what I should do. It couldn't hurt any more than it was already doing. He got out of his car and walked across the grass until he reached his wife's and daughter's graves. He sat before them silently, trying hard not to think about their bloody, mutilated bodies. Instead, some memories he had forgotten about long ago came flooding back to him in crystal clear clarity.

"_I don't care who you are or just how much you think of yourself **Paddy**, I don't want to be anywhere near you." A fourteen year old Angela said firmly to a fifteen year old Patrick. "Just because you are used to women falling at your feet doesn't mean I will as well. I will never do that so you can go back to wherever you were before you saw me because I'm not interested!"_

…

"_Hey Paddy," A very pregnant Angela came to stand behind Patrick, who was staring out to the sea on the porch of their new home. They had bought it the week before and had spent the entire day painting and arranging furniture in the nursery. "What would you do if we weren't here? Me and our beautiful baby, that is. As in, permanently not here?"_

"_I don't need to answer that," Patrick smiled. "You and our little miracle currently in your stomach will be around forever, just like me."_

"_I said __**if**__Paddy, I wasn't meaning I would," Angela pouted. All she really wanted to hear was that if she and their child died then he would move on and find someone else to love, even if that meant he forgot about them._

"_Then I would stay alone forever," Patrick said immediately, still watching the soothing image of the waves breaking against the sand. Angela sighed._

"_I don't want that Paddy," She said softly. "I want you to be happy. But," She warned him firmly, though still playfully. "You need to pick someone who will challenge you Paddy. You need someone who had a strong mid, someone who can't be pushed into your way of thinking. You need a challenge, Paddy, and that's what I was to you. You need someone else to do that, or you would never be happy."_

"_And you?" He asked, turning to face his wife. "What would you do if I died?"_

"_Hmm," Angela said thoughtfully. "I would probably mourn you for a bit, look after our baby, grow old knowing my first love will always hold a piece of my heart, no matter who else I love."_

"_But we are going to grow old together," Patrick said, cuddling his wife carefully so he didn't hurt her or her baby bump._

…

"_I'll protect you forever, both you Angela, and you, our beautiful baby girl, Charlotte." Patrick promised fiercely as he held the sleeping newborn baby girl in his arms. Angela smiled wearily from where she was lay on the hospital bed._

"_Bad things happen, Paddy. Just remember all I told you."_

Patrick sobbed as the memories surrounded him. He had forgotten all his wife had told him when she was heavily pregnant with Charlotte. He had forgotten a lot of things. Other, more recent memories came crashing into his mind.

_Lisbon smiling at him after he had been kidnapped._

_Feeling Lisbon's face when he had been temporarily blinded._

_On the phone with her when she had found a bomb and being terrified by the thought she might die._

_Horror when he had seen her lay on the floor with a bomb vets strapped to her chest._

_Genuine smiles on his face when she joined him for 'teas to go' and his many other versions of tea-drinking._

Patrick looked to his wife's grave, tears still running down his face. "What am I supposed to do Ang?" He asked the headstone as though it could give him all the answers he was looking for. "I thought I loved Danielle, but she wasn't a challenge for me. She wanted me from the start and I saw that straight away. Then Lisbon sings for me and tells me she loves me, and I didn't even see it when it was so clear I must have been blind not to see it. And I don't know what to do, love."

He looked up in confusion when he heard a car door slam from the road where all the visitors parked. Looking round curiously, he saw a familiar black SUV and a familiar petite figure getting out. He was originally angry, thinking she had followed him to continue confusing him with her stupid emotions, but then proceeded to stare after her in bewilderment instead when he saw her turn the opposite way to where he was sat as though she hadn't even seen him, which she possibly hadn't. He turned back to the graves of Angela Ruskin-Jane and Charlotte Anne Jane.

"I'll be back in a minute."

…

Lisbon wandered through the rows of gravestones until she found the one she really needed to see. She knelt before it and put the small bouquet of flowers she had brought with her in front of the headstone gently.

"I did it, mum." She said out loud, not seeing Jane standing on the path behind her, listening to every word. "I told him, well sang for him. You always told me that my music was more powerful than my words would ever be. Well, it was powerful alright. He walked off with that Barbie on his arm, and didn't even look back once. You always told me I needed someone who would challenge me and make me laugh a lot, or I would never be happy. I found all of that, and I'm unhappier than ever. Why does my heart just ask to be crushed? You, dad, Tommy, James, Matty, everyone I ever meet eventually leaves me or breaks my heart. Why do I even bother anymore?"

Jane stood behind her and watched as she talked out loud to her mum. He felt bad when he heard the tears in her voice. She had been reduced to this because he was a bastard who had walked off on her, when he had promised never to leave her. He swallowed against the lump forming in the back of his throat. Her pain felt like it was his own. It was so intense he could barely stand it. What was this feeling?

"_Love," _He heard his wife say in his mind. _"She holds your heart, and you hold hers. Her happiness is your happiness. Her pain is your pain. It's what love is. And it's time for you to move on from us now, my love"_

Patrick's mind was made up in that moment. His Lisbon was in pain because of him. His wife wanted him to move on with someone who would challenge him, someone who wouldn't take his crap. That was Lisbon all over. He stepped forward silently until he was directly behind Lisbon. She was sobbing now with the intensity of her pain, and didn't hear him approach.

"Lisbon," He started, and watched as she jumped almost a mile into the air. She jumped to her feet and turned around to face him, wiping her face with the backs of her hands quickly.

"What do you want Jane?" She asked, glaring at the blonde stood in front of her.

"You," He said simply. Lisbon snorted, shook her head disbelievingly and began to walk off. Jane felt an overwhelming desperation and grabbed her sleeve to stop her from leaving.

"What do you really want Jane?" She hissed. "You want me to be around forever? Yeah, I've already passed over at least five fucking promotions for you over the years! You want me to remain at your side while you go off with countless Barbies?"

"Danielle isn't a Barbie," Jane pointed out, but that was obviously the wrong thing to say as Lisbon ripped her sleeve from his grasp angrily and walked off, throwing some words back over her shoulder at him as she disappeared round the corner.

"I did everything for you Jane. You took and took from me constantly. It's time you started giving something back or else just piss off!"

…

Jane walked into her office later on without knocking yet again. Lisbon didn't even look up.

"Why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why didn't you make me choose?" He asked raising his left hand where his ring was still on. Lisbon looked up.

"Because you love them," She said softly, keeping eye contact the entire time. "They are a part of you and I would never make you do something like that. It would be your decision to make, not mine. Never mine."

Just then Danielle walked in. "There you are," She said, directing her words to Jane and ignoring Lisbon's presence completely as thought it was just her and Jane in the room. "I asked you to do something and you disappeared in here. So come on, do it."

"I don't want to," Jane whispered, looking like a lost little boy.

"Well, I do," Danielle said firmly. "I want you to take your ring off now. You are with me now and I am not going round with a man who thinks he is married to a ghost."

Jane was about to answer when Lisbon answered before he could even open his mouth.

"How dare you?" She seethed, looking really pissed. Danielle glanced at her in shock. She had thought the team leader of the SCU was a small woman who could just be walked all over and she would just take it, but now she saw the real Teresa Lisbon come out from hiding. "How dare you ask him to do that? It's not your decision to make!"

"I think it is!" Danielle argued back immediately. Lisbon rounded her desk till she was face to face with the woman.

"No it's really not! Angela and Charlotte are his wife and daughter! You can't just ask him to forget them! His ring is his last reminder of who they are and all they stand for in his eyes! You're a true bitch if you think that you can just order him to forget about his loved ones!"

Smack!

Danielle had slapped the petite woman in anger and found she had only succeeded in pissing her off even more and even her boyfriend looked angry with what she had just done. Lisbon launched herself at the woman, but was grabbed quickly round the waist by Jane and pulled in for a large hug to calm her down and reassure her. Danielle watched as Patrick pulled his boss towards him and was shocked when she saw the tears in the petite woman's eyes as she reciprocated the hug.

"Jane, I-" Lisbon whispered, but Jane immediately shushed her.

"Look, it was expected. I don't mind, believe me. It reminded you of what your dad did, yes?"

Lisbon nodded into his vest, still fighting the tears.

"What did I do?" Danielle asked, looking confused. Jane glared at her.

"You hit her." He snarled, holding Lisbon tighter to him. "No-one hits her or hurts her like that. No-one. Get out; I never want to see you again."

"Paddy-" Danielle began, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Don't call me Paddy. My wife called me Paddy, and you most definitely can't."

Danielle burst into tears and ran from the room.

Lisbon looked up when Danielle had gone. "You didn't need to do that," She whispered.

"Yes, I did," he whispered back and lifted her chin slightly before leaning down and meeting her lips with his own. It was just for a moment, even if it did feel magical, and he pulled back before it could go any deeper.

"I love you," He whispered against her lips. "And I was so blind not to see it earlier."

"Just kiss me then," Lisbon whispered back. "I love you too."

"Anything my lady asks," He grinned before reaching back in to kiss her once more. Another kiss, just one of many more to come.

He pulled back once again, but this time he pointed to her necklace. "Is your cross the only thing you can wear on there?" He asked her softly, playing with the cross between his fingers as he asked the question.

Lisbon looked confused but shook her head anyway. "No, I'm willing to wear other things, but I won't stop wearing my mother's cross. Sorry, but I can't stop wearing that."

"Good," He said, turning her away from him. She felt him undoing the clasp at the back of her neck, but didn't say anything. She felt something round and warm fall next to the cross and he redid the clasp, fastening it around her neck. She reached up and felt the foreign object on her chain. Her eyes widened and watered as she realised what it was.

"Jane, I can't-"

"Yes, you can." He said firmly. "They are part of me, but you hold my heart. I want you to have it."

"Thank you Jane," She whispered.

Round her neck lay not only her mother's cross, but also a worn golden wedding band that was now missing from Patrick Jane's left hand.

**THE END… I think.**


End file.
